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And so that is why I mean I would kind of want to get to the bottom of who we are talking to here.I mean, when we are saying addict, what do we mean by that?Question 8: Matt, if a man or woman is trying to stop looking at pornography, but cannot (many Christian men struggle here), are they ready to date, or not? Are we saying that this guy or this girl once a year stumbles into or we say this is every couple of times, a month?If not, what is the line between ready and not ready to date for a Christian porn addict? So this is an extremely complex question that is hard to answer outside of actually knowing the people involved. Where are we in relation to frequency, healing, victory?He went to inspect something in one of his closets. I was mulling this over on the subway on the way home. A nagging thought crept up on me: that I, in a very different way, might be guilty of the same thing. I like the fact that late at night, probably around a.m., maybe while I’m wearing pajamas, I can spend some time imagining myself in a pair of shoes, and then, with the click of a button, boom, I can purchase them, and they might even arrive the next day. Over the years, I have bought at least 10 pairs of shoes from them that I returned for one reason or another. Nobody ever rolls their eyes at me, as if to say, That woman has returned four pairs of metallic Birkenstock sandals in two weeks. I can buy as many pairs as I like, and when I return them, I don’t have to give an explanation. When I hear stories like the sex-from-behind guy, I wonder how he got to be such a dictator in the bedroom. He does not have to adapt to another person’s likes and dislikes. He is the customer, and the customer is always right. Fantasy exists and remains inside the privacy of our own minds.

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But more and more, athletes like Notre Dame wide receiver Justin Brent and Philadelphia Flyers defenseman Michael Del Zotto—who have both been connected to porn star Lisa Ann in the last few weeks—have added adult film stars to their Little Black Books.

And so this one is just going to affect the relationship in deeper ways.

I have read almost everything I could on the horrific issues that porn addiction bring about in a guy’s or a girl’s ability to even be emotionally connected to people.

And so without kind of that information it becomes hard to just lay a hard answer down, but I don’t know that I would say absolutely not until this is not an issue for you anymore or until you don’t struggle.

But at the same time if this is a serious, several times a month you are giving yourself over to this, you are actively seeking it out, then, I don’t think you have any business dating.




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